Wedding Vow Share: The Perfect Wedding Vow

Funny Wedding Vows

My One True Love

Husband: I, (Name), take you, (Name), to be my wife, my partner in life, and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and until the day I die. I will always laugh with you and only occasionally at you. When I do laugh at you, if it is in public, I will do my best to create the illusion that it is with you.

I promise to be there with you through the toughest of the trials in our life and to cry with you. These trials do not include things like YouTube footage of soldiers being reunited with their daughters. You’re crying on your own with those.

I vow to love you through the difficult and the easy. I promise to never put you or myself in danger. This means that I will never come between you and a mirror. I will also never force you to eat spicy food with me as I did on one of our first dates. I later found out that you were clenching your cheeks the whole night.

What I admire most about you is your determination. But stamping your foot when you don’t get your way is no longer cute after age nine. Seriously, you need to stop that.

I look forward to being a married man and starting a new chapter in my life. For starters, I will no longer refer to it as ‘my life,’ but ‘ours.’ I look forward to being the best father I can be and helping you to be the best mother.

This is my solemn vow to you today as I make you my wife.

Wife: (Name), you make loving easy. For starters, you’re the best roomie I’ve ever had. Living in sin, without our parents’ blessings, was totally worth it. I now know you are able to deal with my annoying habits. And I’ve discovered that you have very few. You pick up my half-empty coffee cups that I leave around the house, you make me breakfast on the weekends, and you always know where my cell phone and keys are when I go into full panic mode and scream that someone stole them.

With you I have learned to take it slow, although I could have dealt with getting to this altar a little faster. When we met, all I knew was that you made me laugh and you had a dorky look, which I thought was hot. Only time would allow me to see your true colors. You’re generous, loving, sensitive, kind, an insomniac, and a lover of daily man baths and boxer dogs.

I promise with all my heart to love you when times are good and bad. When you’re sore on Monday from sitting the same position all day during Sunday football, when men hit on you as you walk my Pomeranian, and when you need someone to lean on when work gets tough, I will always be your gal.

When I’m scared, you make me feel safe. When I’m sad, you make me smile. There has yet to be a day where we haven’t laughed together. I never want there to be one.

I take you to be my husband, the father of my children, and best friend until death do us part. Just stay away for one week per month!

Vows used by: David & Stephanie
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I Absolutely Melted…

From the first time I laid eyes on you, I absolutely melted, literally! My hands were clammy and I became a sweaty mess. And there was something about that feeling that let me know there were good things to come. From our first date, to our first handshake, our first kiss, our first Cubs game, and for your sake- a Sox game.

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“I Promise To Learn How To Change A Tire”

Husband: I, (Name) choose you, (Name) to be my partner in life. In front of our friends and family gathered here I promise to love and cherish you throughout good times and bad times. I promise to try to remember to put down the toilet seat and to replace the toilet roll when it finishes. I promise to remember this day with love and roses and to look after you if you get sick. I will love you always.

Wife: I, (name) choose you, (name) as my life partner and in front of friends and family I promise to love and cherish you through every obstacle that may be put in our path. I promise to learn how to change a tire and how to refill the screenwash when it runs out. I will comfort you when your team loses and drink beer with you when they win.I will remember this day and will love you always.

 

 

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In Happiness & Strife

I, _____, take you ______, to be my lawfully wedded wife.

To be together in happiness and strife,

To have and to hold,

Even if your cooking grows mold.

I love you in richness and in debt,

And cherish all moments since we have met.

I promise to love you until the end of my days,

As long as you stay out of my baseball plays.

I pledge to be faithful

Even when we’re old and dull.

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For the Sports Fans

Groom: I promise to love you as much as the Chicago Cubs and not hold your black and white striped dress against you. From this day forward, I will listen to all of your complaints about the mall if you say them during the off season and promise to retire my baseball cap and face paint for public outings. I will love you in sickness and in health, from this day forward, until death parts us or you become a White Sox fan.

Bride: I promise to love you as much as I love my credit card and not hold your poor fashion sense against you. I will only show you my new clothes during commercial breaks and promise to keep you in the latest Cubs fashions. From this day forward, I will make sure your lucky shirt is washed for every game day and will always have plenty of potato chips on hand. I will love you for richer or poorer, as long as our credit limit stays high.

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